Tuesday, January 26, 2016

Two weeks terminated: What I've learned after 14 days and counting

Irony: two days before my untimely termination, I commented to a friend that I had a good job that I felt secure in.

I have this idea in my head of what unemployment should look like.

It should be a time of self discovery, of deciding whether what I'm doing is truly what I want to be doing. I am inundated with messages of hope, affirmation and possibility, and all the mantras are pretty powerful and convincing.

Unemployment should look like a surprise vacation. I could fill the hours with visits to family and friends while I take the time to search my soul in far off places.

Unemployment should inspire me to take up knitting or learn a new language.

Unemployment is none of those things for me.

Monday, January 18, 2016

How I downloaded some apps and took back some control

Last week I mentioned that I can probably live without 90 percent of what I own. This week, I'm putting my money where my mouth is.

Downsizing really does feel like an excellent way to get a grip on my life, my finances and my time. While everything else is beyond my control, this is something that I can touch. I can manage what comes in and out of my house.

Friday, January 15, 2016

Day 5: A powerful magnet

My grandmother had a magnet on her refrigerator for years that read "Grateful am I for compliments given. More grateful I'll be for help in the kitchen."

Seems wordy for such a tiny accessory, but big on meaning.

Thursday, January 14, 2016

Cathartic Day 4

Chicken and biscuits, bread, butter, diet coke, a toy train and a fish stick.

I had the best lunch with a friend and his son.

We had a nice long chat about the nature of the news business, being fired, and appointment television. And I allowed myself to be petty for a sentence or two. Oh, how good it felt! No judgment.

Wednesday, January 13, 2016

Day 3: Confessions of the Recently Canned

All of my boring meeting fantasies about being a lady of leisure have come true! I am a lucky girl! Huzzah!

Only this is not quite the leisurely life I had envisioned. For starters, in my daydreams it is not 12 degrees and snowing. In my daydreams I am not trying to conserve cash. There are also more fresh flowers and I don't need to dust the living room.

Tuesday, January 12, 2016

Terminated: Day 2 (ponderings and useful info from the freshly fired)

"Are there any opportunities available in your company?" I asked.

"The last time we talked, I mentioned that one position, but you thought the pay was a little low," he replied.

"Well let's talk about that again, because once one becomes unemployed..."

Yes. Once one becomes unemployed plenty of options start to look more appealing. You start to reconsider whatever it was that held you back from an opportunity, be it money or location. There is a certain clarity that comes with the need to feed oneself and keep the lights on.

Terminated. Effective Immediately.

In a fog, I gathered up my belongings and put them in a box used to house paper for the copy machine, the sturdy ones that once had holes for handles punched into the sides, but not for several years. I guess it's cheaper this way.

Minutes earlier, I heard the words that sort of sucked all the air out of the room.  It was not a cliche Donald Trump dismissal, but one that was far less dramatic yet equally as punishing. I heard the words and not much else. At that point there were simply lips moving to the sound of the blood pumping in my ears. My focus was on trying to understand the vagary of why.

Wednesday, January 6, 2016

The promise, the magic, the new year!

Happy New Year: the holiday that is every meme, every mantra, and every moment you thought, "the sun will come out tomorrow!"

The road is laid out before you. The world is your oyster. The sky's the limit. The 365 days ahead can be whatever you want them to be.

It's a fresh start, a clean slate, a chance for rebirth or new growth. A reboot.