Saturday, September 10, 2016

Blues for my jeans

I have a stack of jeans in my closet. At present, some of them fit, some don't. They represent my physical (and emotional) range of sizes:

*skinny jeans (based on my mentality that day...and the actual cut of the jean)
*fat jeans (based on my mentality that day...and that's all)
*jeans that go well with certain types of shoes (boots, flats, sneakers, etc.)
*jeans that bother my new boss, who does not like for employees to wear jeans to work (but whatever)



There are approximately seven pairs of jeans living in my closet, but as of today, I'm only regularly wearing two. They fit. The others are taking a break until I get my act together.

Two years ago I made choices

I decided I was tired of being tired. I was fed up with being over-fed. So I did something about it and lost more than 50 pounds. Exercise. Good food choices. I had an amazing routine and a solid support system. I was so proud of myself and had never felt stronger! I even made my new mission the description of myself in my profile, and vowed that I would never go in the opposite direction.

There's something about this picture I love: the shades, the glow from a 5k, pride!

And there was that moment when a coworker commented that I looked like I was "getting fit." I rode that wave of bliss for a week!

Everyone is different, but for me, the one place I dropped weight the fastest was the area covered by jeans. Waist to ankle. I think in the year it took to shed those pounds, I dropped off five pairs of jeans at Goodwill and brought five new, smaller pairs into my home. No other articles of clothing went through quite the same turnover, which was annoying on one hand and great on the other, since, as you know, I'm a girl who lives in jeans. The more the merrier!

Then I starting making other choices

I can't pinpoint the exact moment that I lost the momentum, but it left me.

For one reason or another, life started getting in the way of my new life:  Mom got sick. Winter. Gym buddy moved. Job loss. Relocation. You know, life.

Weekend run in the rain with KPM

Heavy sigh for what's behind me.

This morning I am 12 pounds short of where I started two years ago. My heaviest. I'm still on the right side of that number, but too close for comfort.

So here I am in the wee hours of a Saturday, "me" time, renewing my vows, and officially putting it all in writing:

1.  I vow to look forward and not dwell on the past
2.  I vow to be positive in my renewed efforts
3.  I vow to find inspiration in the simple things and create my own happiness
4.  I vow to spend time focused on my health
5.  I vow to not beat myself up when poor choices slip through the cracks

I've also decided to create visual motivators. Last night I scanned my closet for a shirt I would not put on my body today because I would feel so very uncomfortable. I found a green, long-sleeved, fitted LB t-shirt that I love because it's cozy, casual and so soft! I paired it with some Silver jeans that, right now, I can't button.  This week, they are the goal. Next week, who knows!

Next time you see them, I'll be wearing them!
I took a picture of the ensemble to carry with me in moments of lost focus. Then I hung the jeans on my bedroom door so I can see them every night as I head out the door. 

Eye on the prize!

Joined Planet Fitness a few weeks ago and loving it!