Monday, May 7, 2012

No Parking, Stupid!

I have a lot on my plate right now. Work. Calorie counting. Brisk walks. Friendship maintenance. Cheering for the Grizzlies. Evidently "learn obscure neighborhood parking restrictions" should be added to the list.

Today in a neighborhood I have visited at least half a dozen times, I made a rookie mistake.  I parked on the wrong side of the street. The error of my ways was quickly pointed out to me by a friendly face, so I immediately grabbed my keys and purse (which is a dazzling hot pink Coach for those who are aware of my obsession) and marched myself back to the Edge to make it right.
No sooner had I hit the sidewalk on foot.. when a woman slowed her roll in a white beat up Chevy. I have no idea what model, that indicator had long since fallen off in a ditch somewhere.  She proceeded to lay on the horn and gesture wildly in my general direction.  I can only assume the angry thrust of her arm and the shoulder action she had working were meant to say, "no parking, stupid!"  But in case she didn't drive her point home with all that drama, the shaking of her head as she sped away down the street cleared things right up.
Bless her heart.
So there I was... left to fulfill her prophecy of feeling stupid. Outdone by somebody's Nana in a tank top, I moved my car to a more appropriate curb and left it there to attend a party.
Two hours later I returned to encounter a man approaching me with a weed eater.  The look on his face suggested I had fouled up the situation yet again, though I wasn't sure how. It was a look I'd seen before... something like, "no parking, stupid!" Fortunately this encounter was a lot less "Joe Dirt" and I was able to escape without being yelled at, flipped off or made to feel like an inferior human being.
Looking in the rear view mirror as I drove away I watched him tend to the one-inch-by-one-inch square of grass I had apparently been resting atop for two hours, impeding his lawn care process.
Bless his heart.